Misunderstandings in love relationships. Sad african family couple sitting on sofa after conflict

He’s just not that into you- 4 ways Caribbean men call it quits without actually quitting

If confusion was a person, it would be a man. Now add the trauma of colonization with toxic masculinity and deep rooted emotional suppression and you have the Caribbean man. Deep down we all know when someone is bad for us, but as the fairer sex sometimes we keep ourselves bound to relationships that are already done and dusted. Let’s be honest here, the average man isn’t great at communicating let alone when he’s either afraid to or doesn’t care to speak up. Here are 4 ways these men leave you without actually leaving you. 

Fried and dry- The relationship is basically over when your nerves are fried and the conversations are dry. He has nothing to say because he has lost interest in you. It’s no longer a priority to hear how your day went or what you’re getting into at work simply because, in his mind, it doesn’t matter. A rule of thumb, if it gives you anxiety chances are its wrong. Don’t add stress to your list of things to do, if it’s dry, let that relationship die. 

Everything is wrong- have you ever felt like nothing you do is good enough? Despite your best efforts to keep your relationship on track, something always goes awry. It’s like dealing with a complete stranger. No, you aren’t losing your mind and chances are it’s happening on purpose. Some men find it difficult to decide to walk away from relationships and employ this tactic with the hope you’ll call it quits first. Recognize when you are no longer appreciated and more importantly when your emotions are being manipulated. 

The disconnect- Similar to being ghosted, the disconnect ends the relationship long before you mutually accept it’s ‘game over’. Big life changes go undisclosed, feelings left unsaid, the effort disappears completely and sooner rather than later, so will he. Acknowledge when the disconnect starts to take place and use the time to gradually purge the relationship from your system. In this case a chase is a waste, that man is gone. 

Secrets and misdeeds- if you can’t fight the feeling that something is going on behind your back then chances are, you’re correct. Even when he has officially called it quits in his mind, some men refuse to verbalize this to their partners. You may find that he has moved on with someone else while you are left still hanging on to the relationship believing he’s keeping secrets and cheating -technically he is- but in fact that man is long gone. Don’t keep hanging on as that gives him the option to go back and forth and before you know it, you’re in a dangerous love triangle. If you recognize he’s gone, shut the door for good. 

Sometimes, the only closure you need is the understanding that you deserve better.  Most times the only closure you’ll get is knowing you did your best. As much as you can be straight up with people, encouraging others to be straight with you. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart, Karma is a very real thing. As always, take my advice with a grain of salt, after all, what do I know. 

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